The BEST Night Evah!

The Gulf Waters

Delicate patterns in the sea breaking on Orange Beach, Alabama, more than 90 miles from the BP oil spill, cannot distract from the mess four to six inches deep on parts of the shore Photographer: Dave Martin/AP

Six Feet of Jesus in Flames!

Flames shoot up from the "King of King's" statue of Jesus Christ standing outside of Solid Rock Church in Monroe, Ohio in the early morning hours of Tuesday, June 15, 2010. The six-story-tall statue of Jesus with his arms raised along a highway was struck by lightning in a thunderstorm Monday night, June 14, 2010 around 11:15 p.m. and burned to the ground, police said. (AP Photo/The Dayton Daily News, Tiffani West-May)




6-story Jesus statue in Ohio struck by lightning
MONROE, Ohio (AP) -- A six-story statue of Jesus Christ was struck by lightning and burned to the ground, leaving only a blackened steel skeleton and pieces of foam that were scooped up by curious onlookers Tuesday.


The "King of Kings" statue, one of southwest Ohio's most familiar landmarks, had stood since 2004 at the evangelical Solid Rock Church along Interstate 75 in Monroe, just north of Cincinnati.

The lightning strike set the statue ablaze around 11:15 p.m. Monday, Monroe police dispatchers said.

The sculpture, about 62 feet tall and 40 feet wide at the base, showed Jesus from the torso up and was nicknamed Touchdown Jesus because of the way the arms were raised, similar to a referee signaling a touchdown. It was made of plastic foam and fiberglass over a steel frame, which is all that remained Tuesday.

The nickname is the same used for a famous mural of the resurrected Jesus that overlooks the Notre Dame football stadium.

The fire spread from the statue to an adjacent amphitheater but was confined to the attic area, and no one was injured, police Chief Mark Neu said.

Estimated damage from the fire was set at $700,000 - $300,000 for the statue and $400,000 for the amphitheater, Fire Capt. Richard Mascarella said Tuesday.

The Ohio State Highway Patrol was at the scene Tuesday to prevent traffic jams and potential accidents from motorists stopping along the highway to take photographs.

The patrol began issuing citations about 4 p.m. Tuesday to motorists for stopping on the side of the highway, dispatcher Adam Brown said. The number of gawkers coupled with construction had slowed I-75 traffic in the area to a crawl, the state Highway Patrol said.

Some people were scooping up pieces of the statue's foam from the nearby pond to take home with them, said church co-pastor Darlene Bishop.

"This meant a lot to a lot of people," she said.

Keith Lewis, of nearby Middletown, arrived at the church around 7 a.m. Tuesday to photograph the remains for his wife. Lewis said he had viewed the statue as both an oddity and an inspiration.

Cassie Browning, a church member from Dayton, said she was driving home when she saw smoke and noticed the statue was missing.

Travelers on I-75 often were startled to come upon the huge statue by the roadside, but many said America needs more symbols like it. So many people stopped at the church campus that church officials had to build a walkway to accommodate them.

Bishop said the statue will be rebuilt.

"It will be back, but this time we are going to try for something fireproof," she said.

The 4,000-member, nondenominational church was founded by Bishop and her husband, former horse trader Lawrence Bishop.

Lawrence Bishop said in 2004 he was trying to help people, not impress them, with the statue. He said his wife proposed the Jesus figure as a beacon of hope and salvation.

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World's oldest mother, 70, lies dying with baby at her side after risking her life to beat stigma of being barren

By Mail Foreign Service

The world's oldest mother is dying just 18 months after giving birth at the age of 70.

Rajo Devi Lohan says she is too weak to recover from complications after her IVF pregnancy.

News about her condition came as it emerged that a 66-year-old has become the oldest woman in the world to have triplets.

Some experts fear Bhateri Devi could suffer the same fate as Mrs Lohan.

Both women received IVF treatment at the same controversial clinic in India after being unable to bear children throughout their married lives, which is regarded as a stigma in their culture.

Mrs Lohan, who gave birth to her daughter Naveen in November 2008, is now confined to bed and so frail she cannot lift the little girl.

But she has no regrets, saying: 'I dreamed about having a child all my life. It does not matter to me that I am ill, because at least I lived long enough to become a mother.

'The doctor never warned me it was dangerous to have a baby at my age. But I was healthy before, and now I am very sick.'

Mrs Lohan, now 72, and her husband Balla, 73, are poverty- stricken farmers from the village of Alewa in Haryana state, north of Delhi.

After nearly 54 years of marriage they were desperate to have a child so took out loans to pay for the £2,000 IVF treatment.

They have no understanding of the risks of giving birth so late in life. Mrs Lohan is now in such pain that her sister Omi, 60, has moved in to help look after Naveen.

'Omi brings Naveen to kiss me and I tell her I love her very much,' she said. 'Her first word was "Ma". I was so happy to hear that.'

Mrs Lohan suffered internal bleeding and her womb ruptured after the caesarean birth, but she ignored doctors' orders to rest in bed and instead squatted down every day to milk the family buffalo.

She also needed difficult surgery to remove an ovarian cyst. Her body has not recovered from the two operations and she has to take daily painkillers.

Mrs Lohan's doctor Anurag Bishnoi denied her illness was linked to her pregnancy.

'Even though Rajo's health is deteriorating, at least she will die in peace,' he said. 'She does not have to face the stigma of being barren.'

'She had an ovarian cyst that was causing her problems but that has now been removed. The IVF treatment is completely safe. Rajo is an old woman and her life expectancy was only about five to seven years.'

He stoked controversy by announcing yesterday that triplets had been born to Bhateri Devi at his National Fertility Centre in Hisar, which is also in Haryana.
After nearly 44 years as a childless wife, she gave birth to two dangerously underweight boys and a girl on May 29. The infants, who weighed 2lb 6oz, 2lb 4oz and 1lb 7oz, are in intensive care.

Dr Bishnoi boasted that Mrs Devi's government birth certificate proved she was born on May 21, 1944, making her 66.

'This is authentic and therefore she has become the oldest mother in the world to give birth to triplets,' he said.

'She has become a mother for the first time and conceived only in our third attempt through IVF.

'For the first two attempts, only two embryos were transferred in each cycle. But in the third attempt three embryos were transferred in her uterus, resulting in the birth of three children by caesarean.'

Mrs Devi's delighted husband Deva Singh, 64, brushed aside potential risks, saying: 'She has fulfilledmy dream of having a child and gave my family an heir.

'She was my first wife and after she failed to conceive a child, I married twice but again I did not have any child from my other wives. I am very happy and I will provide all the best facilities to my children in the coming years.'

But a London-based fertility expert questioned the wisdom of helping such old women to give birth.

'Any woman over 70 putting their body through the rigours of birth is endangering themselves,' he said.

'Older mums usually require caesareans, which is obviously dangerous for women, but especially older women who are also prone to blood clots, and complications, such as internal haemorrhaging.'

Massive Flow Of Bullshit Continues To Gush From BP Headquarters

LONDON—As the crisis in the Gulf of Mexico entered its eighth week Wednesday, fears continued to grow that the massive flow of bullshit still gushing from the headquarters of oil giant BP could prove catastrophic if nothing is done to contain it.


The toxic bullshit, which began to spew from the mouths of BP executives shortly after the explosion of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig in April, has completely devastated the Gulf region, delaying cleanup efforts, affecting thousands of jobs, and endangering the lives of all nearby wildlife.

"Everything we can see at the moment suggests that the overall environmental impact of this will be very, very modest," said BP CEO Tony Hayward, letting loose a colossal stream of undiluted bullshit. "The Gulf of Mexico is a very big ocean, and the volume of oil we are putting into it is tiny in relation to the total volume of water."

According to sources, the sheer quantity of bullshit pouring out of Hayward is unprecedented, and it has thoroughly drenched the coastlines of Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida, with no end in sight.


Though no one knows exactly how much of the dangerous bullshit is currently gushing from BP headquarters, estimates put the number at somewhere between 25,000 and 70,000 words a day.

"We're looking at a truly staggering load of shit here," said Rebecca Palmer, an environmental scientist at the University of Georgia, who claimed that only BP has the ability to stem the flow of bullshit and plug it at its source. "And this is just the beginning—we're only seeing the surface-level bullshit. It could be years before we sift through it all and figure out just how deep this bullshit goes."

Congressional hearings aimed at stopping the bullshit have thus far failed to do so, with officials from BP and its contractors Halliburton and Transocean only adding to the powerful torrents of bullshit by blaming one another for the accident.

Along with the region's wildlife and fragile ecosystem, countless livelihoods have been jeopardized by BP's unchecked flow of corporate shit. Those who depend on fishing or tourism for their income are already feeling the noxious effects of the bullshit firsthand, as out-of-control platitudes begin to reach land and seep ashore.

"This bullshit, it's everywhere," said Louisiana fisherman Doug LaRoux, who lost his house to a tide of government bullshit following Hurricane Katrina. "It reeks. Big buckets of disgusting shit are oozing everywhere you look and I don't know if it's ever going to stop. I feel helpless"


Added LaRoux, "I never thought I'd be the victim of so much bullshit."

Observers have noted that after the Exxon Valdez spill in 1989, corporate bullshit gushed up like a geyser for two decades and didn't wane until the oil company had bullshit its way through an exhaustive process of court appeals that ultimately reduced payouts to victims by 90 percent.

Despite Hayward's denials that BP is at fault for the environmental disaster and his concern that it will result in "illegitimate" American lawsuits, the embattled CEO has still managed to trickle out a few last drips of bullshit sympathy for Gulf Coast residents.

"I'm as devastated as you are by this," Hayward said after a meeting with cleanup crews on Louisiana's Fourchon Beach. "We will clean every last drop up and we will remediate all of the environmental damage."

"There's no one that wants this thing over with more than I do," he added a week later, just absolutely defying belief with the thickest, most dangerous bullshit yet. "I'd like my life back."

Millions of Americans reported feeling ill and disoriented upon contact with that particularly vile plume of bullshit.

Many environmentalists, including Palmer, have called for a boycott of BP until the bullshit stops or is at least under control, but they emphasize that in the long term, Americans will have to change their habits if they wish to avoid future catastrophes.

"We must all work together if we're going to cure our nation of this addiction," Palmer said. "The sad fact is, the United States has been running on bullshit for decades."

The Onion